abilify dosage bipolar

I have bipolar disorder. Had been on abilify and lamictal. I stopped taking my meds about a month ago because?
i didnt like the physical effect they were having on me. I tried to talk to my doctor but he wouldnt listen. i am okay right now but i am scared of spiraling out of control, either up or down. what should i do. just get back on? wait and start the process all over (with lamictal you have to increase dosage gradually). anyone done the same? i feel fine right now. better than i did while on them this past time. ( i go on and off)
after two days of first starting abilify i felt like my old self before. its like that pill was magic! but after that it just made me feel weird.
they put me on abilify and i didnt like it ..but i dont know if im bipolar or not…i get depressed a lot and have anxiety but havent found a medicine that works or found out what is exactly wrong with me…i always stop takin my meds then about a month later i get where i dont want to do anything but sleep and i get really sad over nothing…