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It is neither quick nor easy, learning to cope and help the child defiant. Even very satisfactory, at least at first. Trying to understand how and what respect, the cooperative became angry child, adolescent disrespect that is now having to face, and trying to get the "child good "again, is extremely difficult.
As your child became a teenager, you knew things would change. However, the changes have created a difficult, tense, nightmarish situation for you all, and nobody seems able to figure out what to do. You can not seem to communicate more, and his son does not even seem interested in trying. He thinks you do not understand, or know, anything. It has become disrespectful and sarcastic. Or is retracted and sullen. He did not obey the rules. It is challenging. He lies. Perhaps even got diagnosed with oppositional defiant disorder (ODD). Maybe he turned into a diagnosis Behavior Disorder.
As children mature into adolescence, they need to learn to think for themselves, make their own decisions and determine where the borders, so part of this is normal, and only part of the development stages for all children must negotiate. The separation of parents is only part of the process. It is a matter of degree, and for some children and families is much more difficult than others.
So what happens to the transition as difficult for some children?
There are two primary schools of thought. One is that the child is defiant respond or react to interactions negative current or former family, as when a parent is emotionally inaccessible and remote, which leads to feelings of rejection, or when the father is too punitive. The other is that the child somehow never successfully negotiated the negative phase sometimes known as the "terrible twos" and is stuck in the resistance stages of development.
What to do?
First, it is important to recognize that there is usually some other condition co-exists with anger and defiance. In more than half of cases, ADHD is not present, and / or some type of mood disorder, for example, anxiety, depression or bipolar disorder. There may be some problem or conflict at school or with friends that the child does not know how to deal with, but that he is ashamed or afraid to talk to you about. For these reasons, it is really necessary to obtain an evaluation by a trained professional, so you can get a complete picture.
Once you have all facts, PMT, parents and management training, seems to be the most effective approach to help defiant child, and family. Parents are instructed to seek reasons to reward and praise the child, rather than just repair and punish negative behaviors. They learn that they have to fight every battle, or even participate in all they. They learn to allow the child to learn through the logical, natural consequences, sometimes established in advance that the children resulting from actions.
Medication is often useful, especially when ADHD is present. A recent study found that Ritalin was effective in eliminating or at least reduce the behavior ADHD challenging that accompanied the challenge. Other studies have found mood stabilizers useful in the control of the challenging behavior where there is depression underlying or bipolar disorder.
Although individual therapy does not seem to work very well, family therapy sometimes helps. Therapeutic boarding schools or residential sometimes radicals can lead to significant changes when the conduct is so extreme that drastic measures are required.
The conclusion is that in most cases, no help of one kind or another available. Things are not as hopeless as it seems. Remember that although the situation may seem sad and hopeless, angry and more challenging to adolescents actually grow out of that phase, and become responsible and productive adults.
Bob Harvey enjoys writing on health and family issues, and also enjoys uncovering existing resources and helping give them wider distribution. For more on “Angry Teens”, visit Defiant Teens.
You can find the leading “Parenting” eBook in the leading eBook Marketplace at Your Defiant Teen. (This is an affiliate link, which means that I earn money if you choose to buy at some point. Yes, I am proud that I feed my family by finding the best learning resources on the net and sharing them with you.)
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