bipolar brain scan
please help, bipolar symptoms?
last year one day i was walking and i just didnt feel normal and i didnt know where i was.. its been a year and 3 months and i still have no idea whats wrong with me i have been misdiagnosed multiple time, the first time by a neurologist who said i had a viral brain infection then when i went for a second opinion i got a cat scan and was told i had a sinus infection… got that fixed after taking medicine for weeks. got my braces off- still nothing im a fifteen year old girl and my life is literally hell
I need an answer and noone is giving me anything
My symptoms are feeling of memory loss like i dont know where i am but then i remember, sometimes i get reeally pissed and just start swearing and yelling.. not so good with my family but anyways, i feel tired after sleeping for a long time or really awake after sleeping just a few hours im just scaring myself by looking up stuff on the internet could someone please just give me an answer? could it be bipolar
Nobody can diagnose you on here, but it doesnt sound like bipolar, people who have bipolar, or know of somebody with bipolar really dont understand the full intensity of this illness, i have bipolar and most of the time its hell, but when yet i still hold my head up as high as i can even when it gets unbearable. Ive been hospitalized 3 times in the last year one for attempting suicide, one for a psycotic depressive state, and the third for a psycotic manic episode where you saw me at my worst ever manic episode, im usually hypomanic.
So ill talk you through my states of each episode breifly,
Manic/hypomanic: Okay so when im hypomanic i get real hyperactive i have loads of energy and talk for england about anything and i litrally cannot shutup i do silly things hurt people and find it funny and to myself my pupils become dialated big time, i feel the need to do everything at once so many ideas and my mind races at a 100mph i cant keep up with it, this is more pleasant as to manic, although hypomania is no picnic, manic i become real delusional, i was recently discharged from hospital 2 days ago after recovering from mania, during this id say 2 week period of being manic, my delusions were: i believed i was the devil and i could contorl peoples actions and behaviour an what they did, i believd that if i stared at somthing i could change its thoughts and make them go away like dissapear, i believed i could control fleets of birds, i also said to my GP i wanted a test for drugs to proove i was not on them as i was convinced everybody else thought i was, ive known my GP for a while and i also asked her for a test to prrove you had special powers she then clicked straight away i was high as a kite and psycotic, i hallcinated a canel being a cloud and attempted to jump in it until it changed, i hallicnated frank sinatra and was convinced i met him in a city and i was going to kill him, and that there was a new jack the ripper in my town and i went out looking for him. Not very nice, anyhow this episode saw me pinned down in the town centre after legging it out the doctors, being pinned down by doctors then the police hancuffed me and i got admitted to hospital where i got induced with many meds to knock me out and calm me down, i was convinced they weere all trying to kill me and i was screaming for them to get of me anyhow they obvs didnt because of my state.
Depressive state: I become so so tired and have no energy i feel suicidal all the time and self harm most of the time, i lay in bed and sleep alot and have strong feelings of guilt even though i have nothing to be guilty for, or i even feel guilty for things in the past, i then feel worthless to everything and anybody, helplessness that il never get better and il always be like this and i feel no hope, i feel there is no hope to go on and thats awfull. i cry all the time or sometimes i feel the need to cry but cant, i become real anxious and clam up alot and find social situations and college extremley hard i cant cope, i dwell on things a hell of alot and worry about everything, my confidence gos shooting down and i get irritated sometimes and real angry about anything. I cant concentrate much and i just give up with life in general.
Please dont try to diagnose yourself because its not somthing you want to be labelled with at all, iv been on tons of meds and im still not settled, wheather ill ever come to terms with it all and if ill
EVER become fully well i dont know ans can only be told in time. Mail me if you ever need to talk or anything, i dont mind im 18 n female 
Bad Dream
