bipolar christian view
Why can’t I accept that God doesn’t want me to have children?
I’ve been dying to ask this question for days now, but I kept chickening out.
I had three miscarriages and I’m done trying. I realized maybe I wasn’t meant to be a mom, but I asked God to take away my desire. He hasn’t. It seems like everyone is having a baby but me. I get sad sometimes. I mean, maybe it is for the best with my illness and all, but lots of bipolar people, stable on their meds, make good parents.
Really, I have very simple pleasures and I am a homebody, so my children would be everything to me if I could have them. I sometimes wish I could have been my grandmother. She was happy just raising a family.
I’m really upset with God today over this. I mean, why can’t he just help me accept that I’m not meant to be a mom? I just want the desire to disappear. Is that too much to ask?
I realize I am leaving myself vulnerable by asking this question, but I was hoping to get some Christian views.
Having a desire to birth children is an inborn desire placed there by God. After all the first commandment is to “be fruitful and multiply”. God has the ability to take that desire from you. Continue to pray for it. But also be patient. Maybe God wants you to be a mother but the timing is not right yet. Don’t “try” to get pregnant but let it happen in God’s time.
My Aunt tried for 7 years to become pregnant and had many misscairrages she was able to have a beautiful girl and she was in her mid 40’s when she conceived. She had faith and was patient. She found she needed to grow more before she was truly ready to have a baby.
I know having had a misscarrage you feel so anxious thinking and worrying “will this one survive?”. When you are so upset it can bring on a miscarrage. You really have to surrender this one to God and come to terms with this in your heart that you will be okay no matter the out come. I know it is impossible to not think about it or even worry but if it is changing your body chemistry it will increase your risk.
“All things are possible through Christ who gives me strenght” Look up the scripture about worry/ anxiety as well as “baren women”. Ask God streghten your spirit through them and give you peace and understanding.
Also “pray the scripture” “My word will not return to me void” Meaning if you use the words in the Bible God will give you an answer… just remember to some things it’s No or Just not right now -your not ready yet.
Don’t think of yourself as a failure. Many women have a problem getting pregnant but once they do it becomes easier. Remember Sarah and Hannah? There are a number of women listed in the Bible that could not become pregnant but later in life God blessed them with a miracle.
With the bipolar issue I understand that adopting is not a possibility for you. There are ways of “being a mother” even if they are not your own. You can be a mentor to the girls in school or at church. Maybe you can do child care for a friend. Maybe you know a single father that could use a little help and be that female role model.
It is hard but try to use the miscarriages to strenghten your character and faith in God. God only “puts upon” us what we can handle. This is the metal worker putting you in the fire to strenghten and shape you. Let God do His job and you will be amazed at the beautiful person you become.
I pray God’s best for you and your husband.
Porta – Trastorno Bipolar *Con Christian * Video official 2009 – 2010 *
