bipolar husbands
November 12, 2009
Well, I feel great. Probably the edge of mania, but it's wonderful to feel good and have energy! Lithium was not the choice of drug for me in my course of treatment for bipolar nor druugs many others. The non-stop sensation of nausea is gone! My doctor and I decided to try Cymbalta and Abilify. Within two weeks of stopping lithium who have lost 10 pounds. Weight loss can also be attributed to the fact that now I'm having a new medicine for my thyroid, Cytomel. The energy that is refreshing. I had forgotten what it is to awaken and not be tired or being awake and think about things other than sleeping!
The edge of mania is definitely on the horizon. I'm hoping that my body needs time to adjust to the new medication and mania, do not go to occur even in all honesty it is probably here already to some extent. Last week I decided to buy a new wedding ring. So I did …. definitely a sign of mania. I also went shopping with my 4 year old and bought $ 600.00 worth of the clothes. Definitely not fair, but boy it was fun! I can justify in my head that needed clothes, but in reality and my mother, will attest to that definitely do not need them, especially considering the fact that half of them are still in the bags. It's been a full week, because although this frenzy and I definitely feel more stable.
My thoughts Today on motherhood
It's like you wake up one morning and realize, "Oh, shit This is not where I wanted being with my life when I was 33. "Not that you would do something different, because that would mean erasing their children and the love you have for them is greater than any other feeling. But …. think …. think of when you imagine at this age and for me it's definitely not like it!
I figured well established in my career and make good money. Here I am with three wonderful children I love dearly with a life that revolves only around them. It's meant to be for now. However, it limits my options career and course that would take my life from the moment of birth. The wisdom and experience that was lacking at the mere age of 21 when I had my first beautiful baby Instead, Keely. I would have it all over again in my life. How blessed me, but the beginning of a new road. A road that had not really thought about.
People say they do not look back and probably is the healthiest thing to do, but sometimes you wonder what if …. I would have hoped to have kids. I guess secretly in the background there is much resentment about what can not be because of my options. There can be a selfish career woman as I thought. This may not seem so bad to many people but that is what I imagined when I was little. At first I thought being a teacher, but in 2nd grade I wanted to be a business woman with a thriving career. Just verbalizing now feels lighter, like a weight I have been carrying around has been lifted, yet at the same time as if a brick has only plummeted in the chest. It is a secret not because they are embarrassed to share … "I have the perfect American life?" … A family with a wonderful husband, with a good job, so I have to work … I become a mom full time. Be happy! Not me. But I think the truth is that with my illness and this is key … no know if the happiness would come with the other.
About the Author:
I am me and a wife to a wonderful husband and a mother to three beautiful children. We all live in rural South Texas and enjoy many outdoor sports including the sport of shooting with airsoft guns.
Feel free to contact me and visit my website at:
http://www.kbbairsoftmachineguns.com
or email info@kbbairsoftmachineguns.com
Article Source: ArticlesBase.com – Inside the Mind of a Bipolar Mom
Losses and Choices Part Two
