interventions bipolar disorder

How to deal with this? (Please do not respond if you just want to criticize me. I'll report.)?
I have severe bipolar disorder and attempted suicide before, but the pain it would cause to my family, my faith and my faith in God's intervention in my suicide attempts, the last of which the doctors said it was a miracle he survived, have caused me, not to deal in years, though the desire of death is still there. Now I find this passage about suicide. Suicide is the killing of oneself. It is contrary to God's love, self, family, friends and neighbors. It is particularly serious nature, if it is intended to be an example for others. Voluntary cooperation in a suicide is also contrary to moral law. However, the responsibility and seriousness of suicide can be reduced in cases of serious psychological disorders, anxiety, grave fear of hardship, suffering or torture. But this does not mean it is morally permissible, and the trial God will measure the gravity or the responsibility of sin. http://www.saintaquinas.com/mortal_sin.html
I know it's hard to have bipolar disorder like me I have a friend who has the disease. I hope you have support from family and friends. That will help you cope with problems. I do not agree that the responsibility and seriousness of suicide decreases because the person suffers a lot. I suffered much, and thought about suicide. I know that God does not want to do it. Since you believe in God, please pray for more faith, for strength, and peace in their problems. I'll pray for you. Feel free to send me a message if you like and can share more of what I lived and try to give some more to do front. God bless!
Self-Regulation and Brain Development (2)