bipolar living with
Sunday, August 2nd, 2009
When a loved one in your family is experiencing one of the personality disorders, the family is under stress. A family is like an orange: each segment is unique, but connected to make a whole. When member suffers, the whole family suffers.
There are many excellent therapists, counselors, and physicians who specialize in the treatment of personality disorders, but very often the caregivers are overlooked. Like Mom and Dad can be taken by children, also can be assumed to be doing very well in a stressful environment.
This does not matter much what the personality disorder is when it comes to family welfare. It could be borderline personality disorder, depression, bipolar disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, or manic depression. Caregivers need to be addressed, thus!
Be careful for Crazy Making
Crazy making is a term to describe a common effect that someone with a disorder personality can take care of the one for them. This means the doctor begins to question his own sanity. Can and does happen that is so surrounded by the symptoms relentless disorder that is lost sight of reality. You start to do crazy, hence the term: do something crazy.
If you've been there, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Day after day, night after night, maybe your spouse acts out. It is sometimes subtle, sometimes strong evidence that something is wrong. But if there is anyone else to talk to, or afraid to trust another, creeps up on you and you begin to question his mental condition.
Typical examples crazy-making
Assume for a moment that your adult son who still lives at home, owes some money. You politely but firmly ask money, which is overdue. This should not be a complicated affair, which took him and promised to pay on a given date.
One tactic favorites is what I call smoke and mirrors. He brings up numerous semi-relevant topics to distract you while appearing as an honest person. He has developed refining capacity to cloud the issue and eventually bring it back on you! Now you might even owe him money!
He could tell from their difficulties, their difficulties, their relationship with other children and how you support them, and so on. The next thing you know, really should have been given this money anyway, somehow entitled to it.
Worst of all, you can fall into it, at least a couple of times. Ultimately, however, you start to realize that they are being manipulated very skillfully. Is that when you put your foot on the ground that the shit hits the fan.
Another example is when you say (and everyone within earshot) how to think, feel and act. No matter which is not true, they're saying anyway. They actually have the uncanny ability to make five hens of a pen anytime day or night!
Even when a person is shown to be wrong and they recognize this, have suddenly become a decorated the original story that protects them from reality. Their show simply must go on, despite the facts or feelings of others.
What can do to avoid crazy making?
The first is to recognize it. If you live with someone who has a personality disorder, you will see all the time. It becomes entirely predictable, once you learn the signs.
Educate yourself. It has many books that are very useful in learning to deal with stress do something crazy.
Enjoy your life. You have the right to live safe and healthy. Take care that the health, finances, their welfare. This is also one of the best things you can do for the family member who has a personality disorder.
Be forewarned, however: once you begin to take their life again, the episodes will most likely escalate, at least for a while. Make sure you have adequate support system in the form of friends, family, church, therapists, etc. Personality disorders can be extremely stressful to deal with, but eventually will become confident and strong.
We are a group of parents and professionals who are passionate about helping families manage the stress of modern life. Our site is: http://stress-familyhealth.net
We offer advice and resources on some of the more difficult aspects of raising a family. Stress at work, how to get pregnant, parenting advice for single fathers and single mothers are some of our topics. You will find good tips and resources to help you in this most difficult of tasks: raising a happy and healthy family!
Living with Bipolar 1